#365

Feed It Beans

I know, they know, you know I’m a lyrical poet

It’s not like I try to hide it, I show it 

Proudly, screaming from the top down

And my words just won’t run out 

Spitting and ripping most times without rhymes

And It ain’t no crime 

The words I show are seeds that grow 

To let others know that no matter where they go

You gotta trust yourself and be your own rock

You are of value, be sure not to give too many a fuck

Life becomes what it will, energy alive

Rife with heartache, lost love, and strife, yet you will thrive

Beauty is fostered in every glance

It’s in the strength to continue and fight for the chance 

At vibrational rise, that subtle reprise 

From the mundane bullshit of our everyday lives.

#364

Level Realization 

Suffering is often writ of, tis something I know well

All pain is different in ways, alike in as many others 

To suffer breeds experience, breeds knowledge, breeds growth

Explained away as “I’m okay”, inside the child crying 

Day by day, though strong, my heart is slowly dying.

Callousness battles empathy, struggles as real as life

Stock life reality is death, I need a better playground 

Life move, drones saunter on, oblivious to the real

Pity not, different levels don’t mix, stop attempting force

Social understanding 

When you have never experienced the sensual touch of another, being touched in a sensual manner is very foreign idea. I am very interested in the female form, sensuality, and mind, but I have never experienced true sexuality. What chances I have had have been frought with self doubt and negative self talk. 
I have had sex less than ten times in my life. I have came from sex three times in my life: 4/2/06, 1/14/08, 9/3/11. Here it is, April 2017, I can’t even talk to or meet a single girl without her wigging out and quickly establishing that I am a “great buddy!” It’s seriously very funny, in a morbidly grotesque fashion, that the only ones who see value in me as a viable partner are the ones in secure marriages or secure relationships….the “safe” ones. 

Are women that cowardly, that they see an amazing guy but he’s  physically differently abled, so they automatically sort him with the riff raff of other rejects? It’s laughable, really. This isn’t a piss and moan post, this is a sharing my experience post. I haven’t even made out with a girl in two+ years…3+ years before that. Ha! Seriously…I have no love life and a few interests. But I am a”great friend”. Perhaps if my injury was a bit more or a bit less permanent my greatness would overshadow my awkward physicality.

I know my intelligence and higher level of consciousness set me apart, but it’s troubling when the women on or close to your level are mixed up with fucktard sociopaths, playing the ids of ladies like a fiddle. That or their obsessed with their own ego driven savior complex. I don’t need a savior, so I’m stuck in that sense as well.

Yeah, go ahead and stop with your misandry and “omg what a misogynistic prick” bull. I don’t need it, this is my experience…it is wholly unique, much as the extremely traumatic injury I recovered from. I have been discarded my whole life by women and I know some of that was to my own doing but the major part is due to things out of my control. I know this, lamenting it serves no purpose but to make me sound like a whiny bitch. I understand the communication and social aspects as to why I am discarded.

I know we are human with human instincts and intuition, so calm your tits, feminists. I am for women’s rights, true gender equality, a Men’s Rights Advocate and MGTOW. I was dealt a shit hand, I have made it into a badass masterpiece, though it’s still made of shit…to put it simply. It’s going to take someone of immense mental/emotional/conscious fortitude to be able to consciously connect and physically/socially accept me. I choose to go my own way.

#363

Sanity’s Plea

In dead of night, awakened by fire, mind takes flight

Flame tendered on tension’s rise, thoughts rendered for distraction’s prize

Publicly alone, bubble of awareness none dare penetrate for cowardice sake

Tedious to play bullshit game, known not at all, save by name 

Reactionary smile displayed all the while, secrets known from burden of trial

Sanity lies in flimsy thread, bleeding from wounds not seen but felt instead 

#362

The Rose

Evil in tongue, crafty in ways thought divine 

Living life meant for another time, a prisoner of thought

Of self preservation, life without life 

Id drove the boat too close to the storm one fateful night

Fuck and leave turned to life stemming sieve

Taking the fire, the spark of life from deep inside 

Friends from life from freedom

Harvesting with demon light…that money, that climbing status 

Lost.

Truth lingers as has for years…realized, it’s an unfamiliar pull

Foreign in this sea of dubious intent

A strength of character, more than any muscle, a friend

Maybe more, connected in another time, 

Parallel love soaring, multiverse dancing, soul family rendered

Truth waits for break of chain 

Consciousness direct, disregard of societal thought, needed

Freedom is nigh, life remains, love remains.

#361

Brief Message To Ladies 

Largely, women are fucking dumb!

As misogynistic as that sounds, that isn’t the case.

Banal, basic, trickable instincts, all that are followed 

Evolve yourselves, dammit!

Fifth dimensional thoughts…

At a church  

Seeing the fruit of Archon (demon) worship with eyes wide open. It is an energetic cancer, gullible searchers clinging to false truth, playing on the unconscious desire for true consciousness. If only they knew the truth their energy was pouring to. It isn’t even looking down on them, for they don’t know, cannot know, it feels like truth. Evil doth come in form of comforting clothing. It is truly maddening seeing the brainwash occur before my eyes. Guided random references, the well off patting their backs….giving energy (money and life) to the clever archonic energy. Trapped in a bubble, ignoring the source, subtle drilling, to give a fuck only for fellow Archon slaves. 

Energy of life, energy of humanity’s light, removed…human batteries, Archon worship colored fancy, covered with pineal tweaking music, those magical vibrations. Quantum mechanical manipulation…realizing the most enlightened in the room are the two goldfish swimming in a fishbowl.

This morning was a series of humans flopping around in the third dimension, much like a fish out of water.