Wrong Channel

The extreme hypocrisy of our society is profoundly apparent, at least to me, a sixteen year survivor of a traumatic brain injury inducing car accident, during the holiday season and well, all the fucking time. All the time I am praised and applauded for doing the only thing that was available to me…survive. At the same time I am frowned at and looked down on for not working to the potential that I should have would I not have been traumatically altered….for not just taking and dealing with all I have and for needing assistance. Ha! Sure, singularly, people will feel, what amounts to, false empathy toward me. They’ll condemn me in next breath calling me a societal leach, repeating bullshit propaganda about Social Security and food stamp fraud.  I am an intelligent and basically capable human with a markedly disabled presence (voice and awkward physicality), my life isn’t easy. 

Sex is a fun but unimportant factor in my life…I mean, being a demisexual, it is more than just about my own orgasm. Being unselfish in sex only works in self help magazines….being unselfish, period, in this era of immortalized self aggrandizement is highly unattractive. I can see the scoffs and the gasps of “what the fuck does he know”. But seriously….search your feelings, you know it to be true! 

That said, I feel as if I must be a pariah because my whole life doesn’t revolve around sex.  Honestly , I’ve only ever had two or three genuine sexual encounters, these past 33+  years.  it’s to the point where I would rather talk and get to know someone and maybe make out….though that is, often, seen as too weird or too much of a commitment. Nah, but “let’s fuck every tom dick or harry who waves their dick at us!” Kissing is too personal but giving a part of yourself to someone is perfectly normal. No wonder all these people feel lost and like they aren’t themselves…too busy seeking out carnal pleasure in an attempt to sate an inborn desire for connection. Wrong channel, dumbasses!

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