Trying

Out with friend and “friends”…

Knowing what alone feels like, 

Banal, shallow becomings

God damn…god damn! 

Don’t belong, can’t fit in….

Lie to self, but still be sitting alone 

Stinging present, issues retarded…what the fuck is there?

What the fuck?! What the mother fucking fuck?!?

Life does life and still though hurting every second of every day

Hiding all, internalized.

Kept within to heighten outward vibration 

Self sacrificing for consciousness sake

None could know or fathom price paid, strength needed

Carry forth with nary a word

Shunned the same, scary reality

Fragile holdings, charade desires….comforting madness

Vomitous being, cowardly living

Stepping stone places

Not wanting to belong

But still.